January 6, 2014

The Roller Coaster First Week

I am usually a positive, strong person but this past week was a challenge.  S and I were in tears for the first few days as we slowly digested the diagnosis and began informing family and friends.  The more people we told, the more reality set in.  I would cry at every word of support we received from our loved ones.  Of course, we researched online only to find bleak statistics; it sent me in a downward spiral, to dark places and ultimately a meltdown.  But it was therapeutic in a way.  We need to go through the grieving stages to accept then prepare ourselves for the big fight.  Now we try to focus on the positive: survivor stories, encouraging discussion boards, blogs of those continuing their fight, the latest treatment methods.  My respirologist friend reassured us that Dr. Google's statistics doesn't apply to me; I am a unique individual.  Another friend told me I have no choice but to beat this damn thing or else he would kick my ass.   I am in awe of how supportive and encouraging everyone has been.  I am going to fight for my loved ones, especially S (the love of my life) who has been beyond amazing throughout this ordeal.  I have to hold onto HOPE.

Some of the things we are doing to prepare: 1) Fatten me up (a wonderful nurse at the hospital advised this so I can better deal with treatment), 2) Juicing (great way to detox and  load up on organic fruits and veggies without all that chewing, 3) Getting back on the treadmill (been very tired after a nasty flu so taking it slowly, hope to get back to running and yoga soon), 4) Protecting my immune system ( hand sanitizers, no sick visitors, flu and pneumonia vaccines), 5) Researching and anticipating future treatment side effects.  I feel like I am getting ready for a boxing match (training, eating well and getting to know my opponent).  Can't wait to start treatment...